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FREE SILVER CARTOONS
From
Judge; Oct. 22, 1892
June 29, 1895
Oct. 5, 1895
Sept.26, 1896
ftj; \H
%isP^il
.•~u
• . - • • - • - ^ v -
MISC. 136.3-6OM-9-B3
FEDERAL RESERVE BANK OF NEW YORK
ROUTE SLIP
/
^
JS&*?teQ
OF.
i
ALLAN SPROUL
REMARKS
-»
£
VOL. 31
NO. 7 8 ()
SEPTEMBER
2 6 1896
PRICE 10 CENTS
COPYHIGHT 1896, BY THE JUDGE PUBUSHIHG COMPANY OF NEW YORK
FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED.
WORKMAN—" If the cry of free silver will cause that, what would not free silver itself do ?'
NO DHBATH.
£X 2
h/lR. MCKINLEY Mill not lower his dignity or waste his time by arguinjj with men whose arguments refute them-elves. They are their
own Mtfirient enemies, and the fart supplies itself for every false premise
they present. Why talk against ihc east Mind?
THri OTHER SOUND-MONEY TICKET.
'Till.
TICKMI" nominau-d .it Indianapolis gives Democrats who worshij) regularity a chance to vindicate that affection and at the same
lime to vote against the revolutionary programme of ihe men who have
stolen the name and machinery <>f the Democratic party. It is better to
vote for McKmlcy straight, but anything is better than to vote for Bryan
and repudiation.
()nr copy, >nc vrar >r u n u m ' * n •
One eo{>v, «n rrvnulu .r w. n u n m n
One <i>t>». ri>f trurtrm «Hthl •
l M C i u . ) m « !»•«• < M « M I M » «
|i i».«
Ji Ixil
p t ' l t l I«*HIN«J C»**»** N V d i i M . r . BVIUMHO)
Corner Kirth A v e n u e » n j h u l e e n t h Hlreel. N e w York.
Tk* Jt'iM«a, J» PMl'» LiM«MV • • < / ) I I > « . « « y i » » r « » i » < r > *ll / # » ».»/# J / B'tml^mt
THE SNAKE-SWALLOWING IN CUBA.
i.
J* Afm».
Jt • >>**•* f+*n . Smtlk, Atmtitt *- < > ,.». AVfr. «</</ r/«-«/. \t'*m.i, l.tnasm .
Ht / . / , - « ».'.•«.. '•-••< • -• /!>,am, timn.timf I k.,m.f, / . » « / , A" «... t.»»Uam *t 4 J '
A*« , A<w« At •«•<•» »/..#•< l , « > « « l
/'*» JmU'm^lumM .Vnml t> .
\ttf*Jmjtr*llt
Ij'.'i.ifo
)
• «•».
( * • NOTICI TO Pl'Ml.lsllRRS
Th« comtnu of JUDOS are protected OT copy.
fltlll in both tbt t'mi*.l Siai« «n.i <.r»t Hruain.
"THK WAR in Cuba has resolved itself into an effoit on both sides to
destroy everything of value on the island. That kind of warfare has
gone far enough
It is especially destructive of large interests in this
country. Humanity calls for interference; and if the president won't act
on the authority given him by the last congress, the coming one should
do something effective.
lnlrin|cmcn( ol ibit copyriftit will t>«
1 ! I t ' S NOT despair of the administration, no matter if Smith has left
it. Whir thrrc •> hfr thrrr s llokc.
• • •
TMI. DlSl'osl r i o N to s. nr< h Mill provoke a law providing that riders
!»ha!l rule .» br.iWc with a bu\clc attachment.
THE ART OF BLASPHEMY.
T H K NAME of the Messiah is frequently used in connection with Mr.
Bryan and Mr. Watson. Their admirers cannot be earnest without
being blasphemous. They are not conservative as to their thinking or
their speaking, and they use the bible as a weapon with which to beat out
the lives of their adversaries. The Arabs resemble them. They. too. have
had two Messiahs within the last twenty years.
•/Mr. flryam,/'<>m lift, t.iktn during his tarn/
TIIF. ALL-MOUTH CANDIDATE.
The JuiK*.n, through the kindness of the Council Hliiffs (Iowa) Xcnpartil
ha< the pleasure of presenting to its readers snap-shot pictures of Mr. \V. J. Rryan,
Take a Roovt
you can.
gotxl look, then vote for him "early and often" if you
ulate for prevalent of the I'niteil State* on the populist ticket.
candkia
HEY SAY that Mr. Li is a poet. We have suspected something of
that kind from the peculiarity of his handwriting.
• • #
>«• TOM WATSON takes the stump he pulls it up by the roots
d carries n around with him. as Mr. Li carries his colTin.
S MR SF.WALI. aware th»t if he doe^n t gpt off that ticket he Mill
offend mo5t of hss popuhvtic brethren and never, never get elected?
• • •
K F O R G E T the r*.i. t verse; but. speaking of the New York Republican state ticket, the noblest place for man to vote is where he
votes for Vann.
• • •
CARMERS OUT W E S T complain that they can get only ten cents a
bushel for their potatoes. Why don't they multiply the crop, as Bryan
proposes with regard to silver?
• • •
LJ \ K R Y HI I.I. is praised by the newspapers: not because of the allaround g<><x!ness which brings no compliment, but because of the
mitrs of honesty which appeared unexpectedly in his all-around depravity.
• • •
TTHE SPECTACLE of the women in the St. Louis rabble unavoidably
leads to the conclusion that women who respect themselves will keep
out of politics. Doubtless they have the right to vote; but the preliminaries are simply shocking
A SILVER BOURBON.
M O A H PRAYED for rain and got a flood, and then he prayed for dry
land. The editor of the New York Journal says he was inconsistent, and we guess he was; but consistency is controlled somewhat by
conditions, and what is good to-day isn't always good day after to-morrow.
We have heard of doctors who give the same kind of medicine for every
disease year in and year out. While they are consistent, their patients die.
MASSES AND CLASSES.
Y T H E MASSES against the classes? The rich classes? The
business classes? The classes that cling to ideas shown a thousand times to be correct ? The war veterans who insist on getting their
pensions in good money? The workers who have the same desire? Why,
these classes constitute the bulk of the people. The masses are populists
a little more numerous than those three tailors of Tooley street who spoke
for the people of England.
ARGUMENT AND SITUATION.
I O R D RUSSELL'S TALK at Saratoga for peace through arbitration
was an utterance for common sense that, wise and good as it was,
should have been unnecessary. All religion and all government are for
peace as a foregone conclusion, and all armies belong to barbarism. A
necessity for war is a confession of departed statesmanship and a triumph
for the crudest kind of crime. The peace societies have all the facts and
all the argument on their side But the reign of peace will come only
when there is a new kind of man. That was written in the beginning, and
so it shall be till the day of judgment.
l
VOL. 2& NO. 7 1 5
J U N E 2M 1«J).")
P R I C E 1<> CENTS
IT'S FUN FOR THEM, BUT DEATH TO THEIR PARTY
The Democrats have started their Free-Silver Campaign.
THI:
PUMLIKHkO ONCt
'
•<•'
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•
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A WKKK
.-!' .: u.t :<n.• > \
/ / A W .
1 '
1
•
i
»••
•• •
'<»»
I I K . WHITNEY says hi* great blood • boiling a< t over the Spanish
trouble was foolishness. It would be far letter for him if he hadn t
ret ailed it A man who perpetratrs and acknowledges such childishness
would never do for president. He might IK- foolish when it would IKdangerous and humiliating to several millions l>esides himself. Why
didn't he lay it to the reporters and drop the subject ?
« • »
i
CO'OM flftfe * • • • » • »»4 liai««nlh »(>••«. N.w York
rvMU
«.
A
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»
*
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tkt*
.
wi
mm4. Xrm Y**k
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'**->T\* *. TO r - t t l t
I S M R H S T>>» fi-otrnn or )'»••.• »r« prntcct
Mfit«m
Inlfin(f»»»nt ol thr* r»t>tri(ht will h#
IK JOSK M A K M » alivr %%i!l hr pir.i'x-•!•• .1 I fit- ki.-km< 3
• • •
\JUI". KIND. moreover, that as a host Mr.
h<m«clf.
• • •
\\]\
SHALL NOT ful!v under-
|.n\(i
4« S m t l i «'.»ri>iina
DANBURY'S FOUR HUNDRED.
C<>l'R H I ' N D K I . D young women of Danbury. Connecticut, have
formed a society and pledged themselves not to marry any young
man who drinks. There is power for good in this society; and when one
reflects that the women of Danbury greatly outnumber the men its courage
veins sublime And really we recall one of many similar s<icieties that
lasted fully ten minutes liefore it quarreled itself to death.
MR. CRESHAM AS AN AMERICAN.
ttw<n that in
s t a n d the g»me of life until
(•atKtel plays hi* t r u m p
AS
WILLIAM AS A JINGO.
1>lHf«fl
• r
» « n
SIN OH A B o t i N I I H J I . IM'( iVlDENCE.
A ( I I l<<.\ M A N in lliidgr|N,it. ( n n r t M < u t . t i i . i , K - .. ! ! . . . - : . " , . ' l i i r
tii.il
™
..|»j>r 1.I..SXOIH'. had h e r n d e l
lo'..i .»(»rii»e of apple-jack. W h y doesn't he pr.«v for t h r d r s t r u . IP.II <>f
(mo* and all kind* of g r a m ? Logically he ought to pray for t h r dr.ith .if
all tr»r farmer* a n d for general starvation. A n d if lie I n s a mule on his
fa«r why shouldn't he destroy himself?
1 A / H K N ONE REELECI'S on the charge of un-Americanism ratlier
justly presented against Mr. (iresham. it is pathetic to remember
that he carried a wound received in battle in defense of the flag,
and one that gave him pain throughout a large portion of the last
half of life. He may not have been the premier that many would
have admired, but he was a brave soldier and he suffered
for the tlag more than many of his patriotic critics.
rx
AVARICE AM) FISHING.
M»t^ t l w ^ d v i n M t r s ill |>»-.(<r
(or A lot 1! irn|)««»il>(litv
T H E CANADIANS make a mistake in charging an
American live dollars for the privilege of li.stung
within their boundaries. The American takes with
him a good deal of money that he
doesn't bring l>ack; so that ihey
are the parties most benefited by
his desire for sport. Meanness gen
erally d u a l s its»-if
Ami yet about
half the fishing-grotindsof the states
are owned by piivate parties, and
the average fisherman can't fish in
them for love or monev.
C l R I.KWIS MORRIS has the
poctir impre»«>«m tlut W t o r i *
grows younger as she grow* okkr.
• • •
CMII.V K M T I I H t t .
v,.rkr.|
h^nl f<»r Xwx «rx. ,»ntl IIMV lie
MIK) to ruvr k m I mily \ .uttiftill
unto death.
T H E O n . s r M » N as to w briber
Imyrlrs *honi«l br n<l«lrn «MI
NO
S u n d a y genrr^lly rr^olvr* it^rtf into
the i|ur*t'«>r> whrther tlw ilisput.tnt
is able t o b u y the wheel.
\ NK.W YKKMON.
• m.t'ruJ)
'Struck the nioiher-in-Uw «nag yet
MUGWUMP REFORM
HERE.
C L E V E L A N D talks plainly
with regard to civil-«ervtce rem his
M K . Ml W I T r is rmr
form. He wants it understood that
| O N M — " Y e p . YIHI **«• »h«'s my wife'* step-mother, handsome, and
they're about ••( an jge Jce win/ ' I u\»»n I even look cross-eyed at her."
r e n w r k th.^r t b r I
his office-holders must hold his
views or say nothing; and this unparty need* a new birth What it
derstanding must be had by his cabinet as well as his lesser officeneed* is a new funer •!. and it ought to have it everv three months
holders. His argument, in brief, is the very old one that a government
p V O l ' B T L E S S Sir Henry Irving will greatly improve in his acting now; must be for the government as a matter of safety and common sense;
and if that idea is generally adopted what becomes of the first and last
but it is a mean thing that Ellen Terry must go through life without
principle of civil-service reform ?
a ribbon or a rag to her majestic existence.
•
•
•
KNOWS (V
Ik/
If ATE. SANBORN in a I >ng article in the ff.»nf /<>»»».?/declares th-it
women are witty. The argument used is because, and besides she
thinks so. Soli, the article would be good but for the fact that it om.ts
the brevity.
• • •
D \ R H E R S in this state, with the exception of th««c of New York and
Saratoga. mti*t <lo*e their shops on Sunday. Thus the male residents of a Urge (vmion of the *tate must tarry in Jericho twenty-four
hours e\Try week
A S P A N I A R D tried to kill the captain-general of Madrid, ami fortyeight hours thereafter he was tried and shot to death We should
l>kc to compliment the memory of the gentleman: but, alas? the government made the best job of it.
• • •
MUST CALL attention to the fact that John Sherman is frequently called the grand old man. and that the financial question
will IK* a main feature of the next national campaign. We do thi« m behalf of William McKulev and some others
And in case Mr Sherman
should have a financial controversy with Senator Hill there would be danger for several persons besides Mr Hill.
THE
MR
WORST-DRESSED MAN.
11* LI AN RALPH doesn't pride himself on his ill-fitting clothes—we
judge the clothes from a recent picture of Mr. Ralph in that kind of
garment—but he probably values the time he saves fh looking for a good
tailor. That he has thought of the matter is evident, for he recently mentioned one of the Rothschilds as a man whose brain was apparently
agitated with the fear that he wasn't well dressed. And we beg him to
consider the matter. What if that picture should become historical, like
William Evans's hat?
MR. HOWELLS AND THE BOHEMIANS.
M K. HOWELLS is always interesting, and especially so in his personal
recollections and his humorous and philosophical essays; and it has
probably occurred to a good many that he writes sharp, crisp English,
with never a superfluous line or word. His candor is caustic as well as
kmdly. too; and Henry Clapp of the Safwrdty Press, were he living,
would find that he has a long memory and would promptly reach the conclusion that dignified severity cuts closer than the small blade of wit and
the brief flash of cynicism.
NSC
VOL. I'M No 7 2 f
CM K t l l K K
.'>
1M1>.'>
|»H!CK
M> < i
WHEN THE BARREL GETS LOW THE KNIFE DROPS.
It's fun for the Wall-street syndicate (16% profit for keeping tfu barrel pled) but death to trade.
A hoUBIHJl.
1 / 1 .IK
"^
IIAKDII.
.sts w h o
were
was
ix-rtiiitteii
hanged
in
YIIMllf.
in C h i c a g o
ih.it
town.
t o b:i« liy p r . t i s r t i i r . m a n
Tha!
hr
was
not
h-
moblx-d
is
proof <»f t h e tolerance of the d e c e n t citixen* h e h . t t r - ; a n d t h a t h e w a s
W j A.
allowed to resume afirr a rrbukc may possibly show that there is such a
tlim^ as loo much patience.
P U U L I » H » . l > ONCfc A Wk.KK
TMMMS io
RELIGIOUS rJK( XilU.SS.
:U /'•>< AV/.AAW.
T i l l . CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY at Washington lias opened its doors
(In*
One
Our
AOAT A/'. V st'fi:
women. Tins is the more significant in view of the unwillingness
irger portion of the Protestant church to give women any privileges
except those of silence and the paving of tithes.
When the nrw religious
rebellion Ix-gins. under the flag " No taxation without representation," the
progressive woman may seek the church that treats her best.
i.f til
V'/V.'OVV
TMR Ji IHH!
Corner Kifth A v t n u * •»>> Hi»«««nth Str««t. N « w York.
flr
Nt»r«< K n> ITIII.ISHRKS
rue c.
figltt in u.ih ilir fn.tr.l State* in.! <>r*«t Hntiin.
*mS «igoft>u%iy |>ru*«cui*<l.
i t t n t *
••(
| i i > 4 .
Infnngcmant
i i r |>n>ir<'t*>> by copy( tbt* copyright will b«
WE ARE N O ! •'BLUFFING."
Polser,
the great International < t.inie.
treated
r HlMils
IlKAItY.
T K \ IK>T"» \ I l l f V .
l.|.
Funniest lx>ok on earth.
s.nt I.) mall If c.t .1 j..ur nrw« •ln»lrr'>.
%W N o r i t K TO iTIU.ls.HKKH The cnnimtt <>f J< ..,.« are |>mtrrte<1 by copy.
t<ght in i»>th ihr t'nur<t SIAIC* jn.l <.r««t hrn«uv
infrin«t»«nt o( ihi« copyright will b«
promptly *nJ ytgocuu»iy pfo««cui«d.
T I I K M.U WOMAN h.i>« commenced to jump the big bridge.
It had I" come.
Till1
(7AK to
the
nihilist* —
lit come down
right aw.»y if they'll let me."
I>on t . s h o o t !
I I" M I S T !*• aihnitted. t(K>. that
the Amcruan wind* always blow
in the anti-llnti-h direction.
\A/K WILL now have the »ong
J>v lonl Punrnvcn. " You
vtiali iuit pi iy in my dix k yard."
Y s i l o r LI) Dr Fraker,
who has had some insurance
experience, carry that superfluous r?
I T K t S I " therr is one for the man
who hooked my pocket-lx>ok.
ami I hofx- it's hot ~ A" lr /ngrrsoil.
* • •
TIIK GREAT LENGTH of Senator Hills Ilorsehcad-* speech
shows that he believes in j »wbreaking too
THE AFFLICTED WILLIES.
THERE IS SOMETHING pathetic in 1 iiil's frequent allusions to the
poor man and his beer and the humble saloon. Why not, however,
shed tears over the suffering tramp and the small but honest growler?
What have they done that the law should persecute them half to death?
Alas' the senator has aristocratic preferences too, else he would carry his
sympathies to the jagged tomato-can and the uninviting ditch.
PAYING THE DAMAGES.
T H E MEXICAN LAW which sends a duelist to jail for three years,
compels him to pay the widow of the man he murdered forty-five
hundred dollars a year for eighteen years, and makes him pay a fine of
eighteen hundred dollars and the
funeral expenses of his victim, is
made up largely of good, practical
justice. To be sure the man ought
to be hanged, but in that case the
widow would be punished for his
sin.
THE STATE OF THE
NULLIFlEftS.
T H E EDUCATIONAL TEST
proposed in South Carolina as
a means to practically disfranchise
the negro, and the further proposition to pronounce him ineligible
for office, are certainly in opposition
to the intention of the fourteenth
and fifteenth constitutional amendments ; but the fact of a black majority of forty thousand confers extreme ingenuity on the law-makers
and the legal wisdom that construes
constitutional and smaller enactments.
THE UNFAIR COUNT.
" T H I S IS YOUR THIRD appearance here," said the
magistrate
with severity. " No, your
A WANDERERS
LAMENT.
honor." said the culprit. "There
MR F.ASV H I D F R — " Me only regret is dat de biizy freight-agent wot
was an interval between the first
ALL THE DEMOCRATS are me de job re-unm ills easy-chair didn't |>ay me fer it in advance."
and second, and therefore it is only
getting their heads together
for harmony, and such is their haste that a number of the heads are badly my second " " I have not by me the peculiar arithmetic of Senator
fractured.
(tray of Delaware," said the magistrate reflectively; "but I guess the mis• • •
demeanors count without regard to the intervals, and therefore according
T H E LAW-BREAKER is a great believer in Hill. "Here, youT' he to the written and printed law you are elected to the strictest seclusion
says fiercely to the man who arrests him; "you jest let my personal for a third term " And when Mr. Cleveland heard of it he sneezed violiberty alone."
lently and looked sadly after the biggest fish that always gets away.
• • •
A NAVAL PRECEDENT.
CF.NATi'K CRAY of Delaware uses many words in behalf of a third
term, and seems proud to believe that there is only one man in the f~)N"F- DAY' in 1812 a naval battle was about to open. The British
commander had complained that on a previous occasion his line of
I'nited States.
retreat had been corrugated by the vessels of the spectators, and he wanted
jyjAYOR STKONC. says the government of this town knows no party. t h a l SOJt o f t h i n g topped. U n t h i s occasion the gun for the action to
We trust the time is not going to come when the several parties will begin was fired promptly and the American vessel began to bear down
know no existing <i;y government.
upon the Englishman, when there was a loud cry of " 'Alt!" and a flag of
• • •
protest went rapidly up the Englishman s baby-spanker—we believe that
Dl"I'YARI> KII'LINC. lived three weeks under an assumed name in a is the name. " What's the matter?" asked the American in a hoarse
New Yoik l>o.trding-house, and then got away to Europe; and yet voice "There's a blawsted row-boat right in front o' me bow an I
they say that our po|u-e-force is the finest in the world
cawn't move without gettin' her blawsted wash," shrieked the English• • •
man ; and his vessel backed into the d<Kk with such force as to carry the
IN ONE DAY the quern of llelgium was thrown from her horse and greater part of it away. Of course, the fight was off. History records
the king of Itaiy was thrown from his Without stopping to inquire the event as a British surrender but the intelligent reader at this end of
whether that was the purpose of his creation, it must be insisted that tht the century knows it was merely a British protest with a few unfortunate
horse must go.
results.
-.^alHfe^
voi. 2 a NO.
ENTERED AT T H E POST O F U C I AT New
IMIICK
OBER 22 J^
Yo«« AS
SICOMO Ci i — •
( U t m
^ m
'.«••»
v,--
8»J
a
,
SYSTEH
HE THINKS HE IS A SAMSON,
But the public know him as the same old blundering «>.
its author, and mores the pity. There be smiles for it, but every smile is
moistened with a tear.
SOP FOR MUGWUMPS.
W. J.AOKKII.
BtKNHAItn Till I.AU
I. M. G M G O B V . Editer.
TERNS
HNITIO VTATBS AND CANAIlA, IN AllVANCB
One
year, or
$5.00
One copy,
copy, one
one year,
or 5a
5a numbers
numbers -- 95.00
h
t
one copy, »ix month*, or ,f, numt*r» - > *e
One copy, for ii ween* - - - t.*s
indu.imif theCMKKTMAs j . t>(.«
ly/lR. CLEVELAND sticks to the civil-service-reform foolishness. If
his party thought he meant the thing he says he would lose a million
votes; but it doesn't, nor does anybody else. The sentimental hypocrisy
is Drettv enouirh to frame, for inspection by women and children; but in
r-
a ll
»
"
.
ONE GOOD TERM DESERVES ANOTHER.
P T " N O T I C E T O P U B U S H K R S . - A I 1 the picture* in the JIM-.K are copyriRhted,
ami mu*t not he reproduced without the permission of the proprietors. Infringement
upon this copyright will he promptly ami vigorously prosecuted.
T H K DEMOCRATS of New Jersey went further and got Werts.
IT IS WELL to carry an umbrella, hut you must never forget your little
tariff
tariff question
quest
F PAT GILMORE is as popular over there as he was here he'll lead
the heavenly band.
A NEW WAR-CRY comes from
the bland and childlike Sun—
"No fat-poet domination."
•
•
*
REPUBLICANS of this state had better look out for the legisTHElature.
They can have it if they will work for it, regardless of the
new and villainous apportionment, and they will lose it if they are apathetic about it. The plan is to send Flower to the national senate and
make Sheehan the governor. Against that consummation every good
citizen must protest at the ballot-box. The little blue-eyed rascal who
helped to steal the senate must never have the chief office of the state he
thus dishonored.
THE OLD INTOLERANCE.
T H E MOBBING of General Weaver and Mrs. Lease at Macon. Georgia,
t h e o t h e r tlav> r e c a l l s
thecondition of things in the south before the
war, when speech was free only as it coincided with the views of those
who heard it. It was a shameful exhibition of narrowness and brutality.
The face of Mrs. Weaver was besmeared with a bad egg thrown by a
chivalrous southron, and Weaver
and Lease were treated as if they had
gone south to steal slaves. Is there
a place anywhere north that would
be guilty of such miserable outrage ?
fU\ k. GODKIN is so wroth at Dr.
Jenkins that he almost wants
to handle him without gloves.
•
•
PECK'S PRIVILEGES.
•
T H E SILENCE of Pusey Gray
indicates that somebody has
been rubbing his fur the wrong
way.
* * *
4 k CREE TRADE is impossible."
says Mr. Cleveland. We
shall have ample proof of this directly.
•
•
•
T H E ARITHMETIC is my guide
and hope, for does it not inform me that two and three are
five?—G. CUielami.
JUST BACKWARDS.
" Say, dim. do you belong to de G. A. R.?"
GIM—" Naw; I belong to de R. A. G."
I ET US BE JUST. Mr. Cleveland will make a better run
than Vicky Woodhull and we don't care who knows it.
•
•
*
T H E BRETHREN were very much united at that Cooper-union meeting. There wasn't a dissevered fragment to be seen.
•
*
*
T H E SUFFERINGS of Bourke Cockran with his eyes and throat are
hard enough without allusion to the crow on his faint and wearystomach.
•
•
•
T H E SURFACE of thought, according to Mr. Cleveland, has important
truths. Yes. indeed; and further "the shallows murmur while the
deeps are dumb."
•
*
»
A YOUNG MAN wants to know where he can learn the art of whistling. If he hasn't lost all hi courage he might call on the Democratic national committee.
JVflR. COLUMBUS was no rainbow-chaser, and he died before he knew
he had captured a continent. For the back counties were largely
uninhabited and extremely remote.
* * *
VjANCV HANKS has a plurality over all other candidates, and Robert
Bonner will take her from the public and hide her in his private
electoral horsepital as soon as he can.
* * *
T H E GREAT JOKE of Jimmy Husted, that he had retired from public
life, and which grew funnier as it grew older, has got the better of
,
DO NOT FORGET IT.
$6 11 ytar.
JUDGK PUBLISHING COMPANY (JUPCR isu
Cor Fifth Av/> nu<l mih Street. New York
.,
, ,
• . ,
, .
mantel of an Irishman s shanty.
tign lountritt in tkt postal union,
THK
,
practical politics it is like the God-bless-our-home embroidery over the
I T WOULD SEEM that a public
officer ought to have discretionary authority as to the matter intrusted to his care. If Peck cannot
get evidence without disclosing the
means to the evidence he must
needs lose much important testimony. If a judge, a jury, and especially a body of partisan investigators, are to decide as to what he
may keep and what publish, his domestic correspondence is liable to
be given to such as are curious to
see it, and perhaps his love-letters.
We don't care to know very much
about Peck, but he is a human being with some rights above those
of a vassal.
THAT OTHER WICKED DAVID.
T H E INDIGNATION of the World\x\\h regard to David Martin is
quite natural. As Mr. Cleveland would say, if one must be licked
one prefers to get his punishment at the hands of a man of good moral
character. A man whose wife had eloped remarked resignedly, " Well,
she skipped with a gentleman, anyhow." That Mr. Martin would get
votes in an improper manner we prefer not to suspect; but if he does the
poignancy of the grief of Mr. Cleveland, who is not only better than his
party but better than anybody else, will be greatly increased. Oh, it
must not be, D. Martin! Get thee to sheol, or peradventure to Philadelphia.
BUILD THAT CANAL!
y i l E NICARAGUA CANAL will some day make great politics for
this country. As Grant said, and as Harrison and Cleveland say, it
must be built by Americans. The Panama scheme has fortunately died
without creating the disturbance that would inevitably have come with its
success. No foreign power must do that work for us. The business and
political power of foreigners in South and Central America is already too
great. The great principle of protection advocated by James Monroe and
continued by Mr. Blaine in the pan-American congress must prevail.
America for Americans. Less immigration, or no immigration not entirely desirable. No French, English, Austrian. Italian. Russian, Chinese,
or other foreign authority here as to business or politics. There has been
one French army in Mexico, and one great effort to give a French canal
to Panama. All that is ended. Americans can build their own canals
and take care in war or peace of their own business.
199
FINESSE.
*«<•
H K t H ' i . H the hot. dusty roads of
Kansas a would-be homesteader was
pursuing his way tu the Cherokee
Stl ip, in search of one of I'ncle Sams
free homes. He had his family and
goods in a shaky prairie-schooner,
.V.
which was diawn by two leeble
horses near dissolution.
" W h a r you bound?" asked a
fanner at whose house he sto]>|>ed
for water.
" Fer a hunderd an' sixty acres o' yovcr'ment land in th'
strip," responded the traveler bombastically.
A few months later the same man stopped ajjain at the
Kansas farmers for water, this tune traveling north.
" Whatcher done with yer hunderd an' sixty acres?" asked
the farmer with a note of suspicion.
"See them mules thai?" queried the homesteader, pointing
to a fine pair of animals which was harnessed to the " schooner.'
" I traded eighty acres o" my claim fer 'em."
" Whatcher do with th' other eighty?" pressed the farmer.
14
Don't give it away till I git further off. Th' feller was a
tenderfoot, an' I run th' other eighty acres in on 'im without his
knowin' it."
-U
NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
• *THAT," said a bicyclist to his friend as they bowled away
from a road-house where they had spent the night.
"should be called the Misfit hotel,
and none in the mattresses."
There was hair in the food
•-S
h .A
OkAick
IIAKI)
ONK
t>y I M H DAY (at the Cobbville
TO
Sl'Oll.
WMMH tmffrtgtpicMU)—"
S o a t <uv* thet we
can't have women in politic*. Inn I SA\ we kin
I hrv *iv it II make 'em nmdv'<4i an'
will spile their sex. Now thct's humbug. YYh)'. I've vulnl in cvciy county lection kener
'ninety-one an' 1 hain't spiled yit."
A YACHTIN(, TRIP.
A LONG thr lonrlv wrand I love
*•
Thr
tide* are MIUJIMI; <»n
With ' mulliluilm.iin. music "I
A \ ll'MJS.Uld A\i,V\ t " " ' '
Ah. Vet; n seem* as lony a* that
When I -<.h. lucky chap!
Was wmil to wear your sailor hat
And y«>u my yac hi inn < -<\r
POKER—A " F U L L " HAND.
Three jacks and a pair of tens.
Do \f>u rrmcmtiff when
Thr M|iiall kpirx). <1aik an.) »irtr.
You .1i.I not vh..v% tin kiitfhtrtt drrad.
Hut. < .injjltit hv mv M.lr
Ittavrd ih< » lid « ind'» rough liang an<1
t.at.
While at rarh tlunuirrx lap
I beM on to \our uitor-hat.
You iu my yachting cap?
On S|>rn<lr<x k'<. vaihtinu trip u
I MMd him lor lair.
A r i l emlv Wf-nl. » » c r l h r a t l . t.r< j
YON ti>l<t me m u d t»c t h r t r
1 kixiw Hot whrrr wr s.n.r.1
l.«tItinlr. by chart or map ;
Hut oh. 1 wore your tailor-hat
And you my yachting i ap.
Ah. tin* wa» tills* (or vtorm» < ..iri|irilr.1
S|.c-i..ir.Kk* i.. fl.r "c IOM
Ids nautical >mi«
Mctlcd,
Hi* pritir and head [aid low.
Your mottlef lOO, »i< k an a u l .
She did i i ' i i are a rap
Whelhrt I woir your tailor-hat.
Or you m> yachtins cap
The prrttv I'hrvnr ! How \\\r |.u>hr
tier MOCy now Ktraik-hi lllluilgll
1 lie ciirliM({ tullows J.\ itir\ MiOieiJ
In »wirls ol wlntr AU<\ titur.
Vou helii the helm, and u m r thereat
Near many a (ell mikliap.
'Twa* then I took \oiir sailor-hat
And you my yai
Yet. w i t h t h n r impudence %uhl>me.
S f what tlir v rat» have done
Your* Mr* Sprmlp* «» yr«.tliat\fla(.
And lne '» not worth a unap ;
For now he wrar» your Bailor4al
Ami you hit yachting cap
A STERN REALITY.
With all the steam calliope's faults Farmer Green loves it " still."
that w«» the «i«ertrM time
MAORI I M
V. KKllH.KM.
Saefcau t WiltMtm* U h o Co New York
THE
TEMPTATION
202
D. O. C.
\ 7 O T ees dees, dees d. o. c.
Dot comes on puntlles
dot's feer me ?
It all de dime ees marked
mit prown
On everydings ich puy een
town.
No matter vot ich puy me
dere —
A vagon, puggy, or a
mare —
Dees mark vos hanging mit
de ting—
No matter vot dose fellers
pring.
Oof course ich alvays bay my vay
Und netTer ask for time to bay.
I alvays hav de gelt py me,
Put still vot ees dees d. o. c ?
A VITAL QUESTION.
DEGGY was twelve, and deeply interested in the study of "the
first principles of the English language." She turned over
a page, then turned back and thoughtfully re-read the entire
paragraph. Then she said, " Sister, how many square miles are
there in the area of a vicinity ?"
DESERVED IT.
Mr. Hunker—" I read the other day that a Chicago judge
fined a man fifty dollars and sent him to jail for a week for attempting to kiss a woman."
Miss KittisJi —" Well, if he merely attempted to kiss her
he deserved his punishment."
LOOKING FOR HIMSELF.
f T WAS during a convention in Louisville, and people from all
over the state, politically interested and otherwise, were taking advantage of the excursion rates. As I returned to my
through sleeper from New York at one of the wayside stations,
where I had snatched a hasty but soul-satisfying supper of fried
chicken and corn-bread, I was confronted by a long, lank, swaying specimen of the central Kentuckian, who preserved his uncertain stand on the lower step of the car by a more or less firm
grip on the two hand-rails. His long coat-tails flapped about
LUCID WITH A VENGEANCE.
TOURIST—" How are the potatoes turning out. mv good man ?"
NATIVE—" Hain't turnin' out. We hev ter dig 'em."
TOURIST—" How deep is your lot?"
N A T I V E — " Don't know. Never dug down fur enuf ter find out.
(And hereupon the tourist took no Jurther chances and went on.)
METROPOLITAN PERVERSION.
UNCLE POKENPRY {savagely)—"Darn sech a bunco taown, whar everybody and
everythin' wants ter shake hands with a feller !"
his thin legs, his collar was very high and much too big for him, and his silk hat of
the fashion of ten years ago was tilted in a mildly-rakish fashion over one eye.
I made a polite but unmistakable movement toward the car. He did not move.
" I beg pardon," I said cautiously. " 'Scusable," said he, rashly waving one hand.
" Beg pardon, I wish to get in," I said, more vigorously. He did not move, but
he smiled a sweet, confidential smile and said,
" Mister, have you seen a tall gentleman anywhere, who is tolerably intoxicated ?"
JEAN WRIGHT.
A CONTRADICTORY
STATEMENT.
YACHT-CAPTAIN—" What do you make her out, Mate?"
MATE—"An excursion-boat literally black with passengers, but with few
people on board "
YACHT-CAPTAIN —" What do you mean ?"
MATE — " It's a colored excursion. See V
@FedFRASER